This text is dedicated to friendship, especially to all those amazing friends who chose to be a part of my life. Thank you all for showing me the meaning of home! I believe there are few things more empowering and beautiful than connecting and getting together with you glorious bunch. To me these special relations appear to be a source of happiness, spirituality and most of all love. A life without you would be an empty one.
Diesen Text widme ich der Freundschaft und insbesondere all den wunderbaren Menschen, die sich entschieden haben mich auf meinem Weg als Freunde zu begleiten. Danke euch, dass ihr mir immer wieder zeigt was es heißt ein zu Hause zu haben! Ich glaube es gibt wenige Dinge, die schöner sind als mit euch zusammen zu kommen meine Besten. Mir scheinen diese Verbindungen eine Quelle wahren Glücks, spiritueller Erfahrungen und v. a. Liebe zu sein. Ein Leben ohne euch wäre ganz schön bedeutungslos.
Yesterday the beautiful lucid gathering at the edge of Berlin took part. Not expecting anything a few beloved friends and Yogis took off at noon for the far out lakeside event. Auspiciously perfect, we arrived just in time for the cacao ceremony.
Gestern hatte ich das große Glück am wunderschönen Lucid Gathering am Rande von Berlin teilhaben zu dürfen. Ohne große Erwartungen brach eine kleine Gruppe aus Freunden und Yogies am Mittag zur Seeveranstaltung auf. Fast schon wie vorbestimmt kamen wir genau pünktlich zur Kakao Zeremonie dort an.
The new man heals his being, the planet and cleans up after himself. He is a role model for young men. rigorously honest and fiercely optimistic. He faces his darkest shades and wounds, using their power as a tool for transformation.
Der „neue“ Mann erforscht sein Inneres, er schützt den Planeten und räumt hinter sich auf. Er ist ein Vorbild, kompromisslos authentisch und unglaublich positiv eingestellt. Er stellt sich seinen Dämonen, nimmt seine Traumata wahr und schöpft aus ihnen die Kraft für Transformation.
At times the deeply routed wounds of the past surface. When they do I don´t always feel ready. I might want to hide from myself as I can´t accept my own perfection. Nevertheless I am available in that moment to be healed and need only stay open, vulnerable and sensitive. Thus the loving presence of life can bring about relaxation and peace, dissolving struggle and suffering. Keeping such an open attitude anyone can be healed and help others to also become whole and healthy. In fact is there anything more gratifying than sharing those insights you gained with other.
Look in the mirror, be brave and face your own inner truth. The truth is that you are perfect already. Stop believing anything else, keeping yourself small. That won´t serve anyone, but walking by example as an authentic being you encourage others to do the same.
Yes indeed it takes courage to emerge into the light, as you face your deepest core, naked. It won´t always be pleasent either. Like a seed that sheds off its cask, it is dangerous to grow and leave the shelter of known commodity. Avoiding or denying these dangers won´t do. Only by looking at our own “shit” we become the possibility we are born to be. Moving out of the comfort zone, by looking at it, it can go. Growth happens.
It is a pilgrimage to the most intimate part of yourself, that you may best undertake unconcerned without any concept of a goal. Just walking step by step, the aim will reveal itself in due time. It is an adventure of acceptance, of embracing what is. This attitude invites the right people and events at the right time. This magic of life spreads through my own life more and more as I grow older.
As I reflect about my past, I realize that my deepest wounds have become my biggest strengths. It is only now that I am able to say no to people and events that are abusive and pain inflicting. I simply allow them to go without regret or grudge. In speaking up, I am not arrogant or egocentric but aware that my own integrity and wholeness is the greatest gift I have. Losing it would hurt all areas of my life and others too.
No one is allowed to harm your being. You are ever perfect beloved friend.
In these months to come I am finishing my degree in child nursing at the university hospital Würzburg. It has been a time with many ups and downs and I am excited to wrap it up. Now this weekend I went to Berlin in order to have a couple of job interviews and find the place I will be staying for the next few years. Funny enough we had our last theater show Friday night and my train was set to leave for Berlin at 5 am next morning. Due to an old theater tradition, one has to celebrate the very last show and thus I left 3.30 in the morning with my beloved friends to take a shower, pack things up and then make a move by train for Berlin. I was so tired that I could hardly program the alarm, waking me up every time I needed to switch trains. However luck was on my side and I made every connection but the very last, because the train was delayed. Therefore I called the boss of my likely future job. Unfortunately this job is also my most favourized one and thus coming too late, could become a very shitty experience. To make the long story short, I could not reach her via phone nor via e-mail. I simply had enough faith that everything would somehow work out and continued for Bad Sarow anyhow, a small picturesque suburb of Berlin. The place I long to work is a Buddhist center specialized in Palliative care and founded by the famous Sogyal Rinpoche, a student of H. H. the Dalai Lama, who wrote the tibetan book of life and death.
The student asked the Zen Master: “What shall I do when I am old And still not enlightened?” The Zen Master replied:“Jump for joy”
There are times when I seem to fail in all areas of my life, relationship, work, love you name it.
We all face such periods. It seems like an endless storm.
Honestly the worst state appears when I catch myself not living up to my own high standards, falling short, having lost my personal edge. (Doesn´t matter how high those standards are, they are still mine I think)
It really sucks, cause it is not comfortable.
“There is the story of a lion who grew up with sheep”
“When do I have to die? Why do we have to die and what comes next?”
We don´t know until shit hits the fan and then we won´t be able to tell anybody.
Most of us only really start appreciating life when suddenly death approaches, believing there is still so much time left. In fact most of us live as if there will be an endless chain of tomorrows, but there won´t. Death is the only certainty in life. Still we keep postponing and thereby falling short.
Is it not alarming that most people face death as unprepared as they did life. We have the chance to appreciate any moment and find sense in what we are doing. Every instant is an opportunity for expansion into love, for developping a peaceful mind, an open heart and to preparing for eternity. When you die, you better have lived a meaningful life to your conditions or else you will whine and helplessly cling to your last breath, still unable to hold on. As in the end we all have to let go of everything, wanting or not wanting.
Therefore we should learn to let go already during life. To do that, we have to face the stranger within ourselves in silence. We need to stop keeping ourselves busy with trivialities, filling up every little moment like an addict until no time remains to take care about important issues. Looking deep enough you´ll realize that nothing endures for ever – not even the tiniest hair on your back. That´s neither cruel nor good, but simply the quality of life.
Surrounding ourselves with goods we can try to choke the fear of change, the fear of death, trying to live as safe and ordinarily as possible. We may then watch the days pass by, being consumed by time. Still in our loneliest and darkest hours questions will appear and penetrate our dreams: “What am I doing? Am I waisting my life, being phony?” More and more frequently we will be waking up from nightmares sweating, with an intensely pulsing heart. Luckily these fears only stay until breakfast. Then we leave another day for work and life continues as usual. In the long run however nothing will comfort you.
“My religion is to live and die without regret”
We should use time every now and then to ask: “What if death would come now? Would I be ready or would I regret the life I am living?”
Death comes to all of us and often with no warning. A life built on the wrong notion of eternity is not going to satisfy. Maybe only those who are conscious of life´s fragility can appreciate it fully. Simplicity is the key to a content and happy lifestyle. To do what is needed and suiting. I believe there are things essential to everyone´s life, that everyone has been sent to learn and acquire, like increasing love, treating each other with affection, to realize that the most important essence is relating to other human beings with compassion. Clinging onto people or things, not accepting the ever changing flow of life only brings about suffering and fear. It is lying to ourselves and then change is equal to pain. Funny enough change is the only stable garanty and if we trust it it may console and comfort us. Therefore my religion is to live and die without regret.
When I was 14 I saw my stepfather being consumed by liver cancer. He was only 42 years old and I am sure he didn´t plan to die. He was one of the person with the healthiest lifestyles I knew. He didn´t smoke, only drank a glass of wine every now and then and was a brilliant intellectual as well as an ambitious sportsman and doctor. Still he couldn´t do anything when death came about. In a few months only, his body decayed in front of my eyes. He suffered intense pain and lost most of his cerebral capacity. Still who am I to judge. Life has a plan, even if I can´t make up my little mind to understand it. Even life threatening diseases can be a blessing, if we understand that they very often try to show us, that we didn´t take enough care for our inner and spiritual needs.
Ever since I developped a great love for life. Indeed I love living and I am not willing to live life on other terms than my very own. For me personally life is about contribution. Therefore I ask myself frequently, what I can do to increase the quality of life for others. That is my passion. It gives me not only pleassure, but also peace of mind, self-knowledge and deep relaxation.
Instead of struggling for more this and that, look inside for your own passion, inquire how your talents can be used to improve the world´s state. Then life will take care of you and happiness as well as a sense of wealth will come about by themselves.
When we are in a spirit of adventure we are moving like a child. Full of enthusiasm, unconcerned, trusting in life, simply moving step by step with wonder into the unknown. Everything is new and alive.
Adventure is irrational, having nothing to do with planning, programs, organization. This childlike pervade any aspect of our lives at home, at the office, in wilderness, a creative project as well as relationships. Any time you move into the new with the trusting spirit of a child, open, vulnerable, amazed. Anything suddenly seems like a great adventure.
There is really only one way of showing you what I mean, enjoy:
Life is hazardous, there is no security, no guaranty. Maybe you fall dead tomorrow. Who knows?
There will be danger indeed, fear, sacrifice and no map to follow. Is that not a great relief as well? See you are ultimately free to move, to get lost, astray and by doing that to grow up. Facing fears and dangers in the dark maze of life´s jungle brings about giant growth and expansion. Indeed insecurity is the way to grow. Leaving the known, accepting the threats of the unknown and its challenges makes you grow beyond yourself.
This aspect of life gets me excited a lot. With 19 I had the first intense taste of adventure and trust, hitchhiking through Argentina from national park to national park. When I decided to move into this adventure, inspired by the likes of Christopher Mckandless (from into the wild) and Heinrich Harrer, I experienced a great sense of fear. I didn´t know if people would oick me up, where I would sleep at night, if I would find food every day and so on and so forth. Letting go from my concerns life took care of me beautifully. I met people who invited me to sleep over, fed me, brought me to my next destination or simply were a great company on my travel. Any peril and challenge smoothly dissolved. A great trust, space and happiness unfolded within me. Ever since again and again the child within me is in for another game, especially when it finds companions to play with. Luckily enough life connected me with amazing friends who carry exactly this quality.
Thus having music and life´s flow on your side, don´t be concerned if your seeds land on soil or on rocks. You are a sheer celebration. Flowers fall upon you as a sign of your own flowering. Your bliss, ecstasy should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all, not only friends but strangers too. This real compassion, real love, sharing your enlightenment, your dance of the beyond.
To bring abundance into your life you need to believe that it will happen to you. Your thoughts create your reality. Buddha knew that, quoted to have said: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” If you think something over and over again it will eventually happen. This is why affirmations have such an immense power. Unfortunately most of peolpe constantly think of the things they don´t want and thereby attract over and over again the same unwanted situations. A question such as “Why me again,” seems quite ridiculous in that aspect, as a question answering itself.
Holding onto our core believes coming from childhood conditioning and social subconsciousness reduce our capacity to manifest what we want. Consequently life stays as we know it.
Now good news is, that you can easily change your reality by finding out about your core believes, turning them around and using new positive affirmations and thinking habits.
Confucius said whether you believe you can, or you can´t, you´re usually right.
You can achieve anything you want in your life, you just have to believe it. Otherwise you´re gonna find yourself living a mediocre life or even worse somebody else´s life. Studies done in hospitals with elderly people showed that when asked to reflect upon their lives, they most regretted the things they hadn´t done, not the ones they had. I personally believe there is nothing worse than playing small and not living up to your own expectations. Many of us however don´t allow themselves to shine due to fear or because they feel pressured to fulfill other´s expectations. However every human being has been born with a unique gift and it is our responsibility to find out what that is and to act upon it. Otherwise you will one day catch yourself not living the life you wanted to live and that will be ultimately painful. Don´t create your life around safety or money. What safety is there anyways? Even if you work your bud off in a so called safe job and, you might die any moment. So better live a life that you are passioned about. By that you will serve the world best. Tune into your intuition, allow yourself to be guided by your heart in order to do what you feel you really wanna do, instead of what you think you should do. Connect closely to your feelings and see if you are acting from a place of fear, or from love. If you act out of fear you will sooner or later experience regret. If you however act from intuition you will end up living your dream. Therefore find out what you wanna bring into this world, focus on it and then go after it as if your life depended on it, cause it does.